Confirmation F.A.Q. for Parents and Teens
Q. What is confirmation?
R. After a person over the age of 12 is “ready and duly prepared,” he or she has the chance to be confirmed, which is “to make a mature public affirmation of their faith and commitment to the responsibilities of their Baptism and to receive the laying on of hands by the bishop.”
It’s not… joining the church. (That happened at baptism.)
It’s not about… pleasing parents or grandparents. Parents made the decision for your child at baptism, now it’s time to allow teens to explore their own relationship with God, as well as what they think and believe about God and the church.
Q. What can parents do to support their kids preparing for confirmation?
R. Parents can help teens decide if they are ready to make the commitment of time and energy to prepare. Parents can help them with rides. Parents can listen when teens are ready to talk. Most of all, parents can encourage teens and praise any efforts they see.
Q. At the end, who decides if a youth is “ready” to make a “mature” spiritual commitment?
R. The priest and the teen, in consultation with the sponsor.
Q. What is “duly prepared?”
R. Hopefully, it’s not “dully prepared.” But in our parish, I’ll ask for some external steps of preparation. Like every Christian, a teen’s inward journey with God is his or her own. But I think the outward process will help teens explore their own spiritual commitments.
Q. When will the teens be finished with preparation?
R. These external steps will finish at a worship service. (Time and place varies with each class. In the past confirmations have been held at Resurrection and at the Cathedral.)
However, not everybody’s internal spiritual journey goes along in the same way, and it could be that a teen decides not to be confirmed at this time, or that a teen and the priest decide that more preparation is appropriate.
Preparing for Confirmation
1. Be around…
a) Regularly attend church and Youth Group (8:50-9:30 2nd & 4th Sundays morning... it’s not that you never skip, it’s more that people recognize you when you show up and you’re often there.
b) Attend confirmation meetings
2. Be willing to grow…
a) In any church, being a Christian is about your relationship with God. What’s yours like? How will you help it grow this year?
b) One thing many Christians do to grow is take spiritual retreats. At least once on a Saturday, we’ll have a brief retreat at the monasteries.
3. Be curious...
a) At least once, I’ll give you an “observation” sheet with questions to fill out about our own church service. At least once, I’ll ask you for your own questions about being a Christian in the Episcopal Church.
b) At least once, you need to visit a non Episcopal church, with the questions I give you and with your own questions, and observe what they do.
c) Read a book about the Episcopal or Anglican tradition:
My Faith My Life: A Teen’s Guide to the Episcopal Church by Jenifer Gamber
OR
Always Open: Being an Anglican Today by Richard Giles
4. Be connected…
a) Choose a sponsor
· The person should be an adult you like and respect at our church or another Episcopal church (probably not your parents).
· They should have an active spiritual life, so you can ask them about their own time with God.
· They should be the type of person that lets you talk and think out loud, so you can explore your own spiritual perspective.
b) Have at least one appointment with Mother Paula to talk about your relationship with God and spiritual life.
5. Be available… One sign of a Christian is that we serve others.
a) At least once, participate in a liturgical ministry… you can read the prayers or Bible, or be an usher, or bring up the bread and wine, or be an acolyte. Or if you’re really a “back-stage” type, then you can try the altar guild (getting the altar ready for the service.)
b) Reflect on what you have to offer outside of our church … how can you personally love your neighbor as yourself? Participate in one existing project, or design your own ministry outside our parish.
(these guidelines were prepared by Mother Paula Harris our priest in charge through July 2009)
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